I love being your mom but I miss her

I love this honest mama trend on TikTok. Oh how I can miss my old life sometimes. I guess for me it is a little bit different because I had my kids at two very different stages in my life which means each experience was very unique and different, I had Zac when I was 18, still young and having fun and I had Eli when `I was 28 and married and a stay at home mom.

I love this trend because it’s honest and it goes against the grain of how moms are suppose to feel, we are taught to completely forget about our lives before our kids and to completely appreciate what we have now with our beautiful babies. Of course we have to appreciate what we have now but it’s totally normal to miss your former self. The wild warrior goddess woman without too many responsibilities.

Being a mom can sometimes be overwhelming, repetitive and boring. Yes it’s all amazing watching this person you birthed grow but let’s be honest some days we miss our former selves, the independent free self who did what she wanted, when she wanted without having to clean a little persons poop.

For me the hardest parts of motherhood are pregnancy and breastfeeding, as you know I did not enjoy breastfeeding one bit, totally worth it though, I did it for sixteen months but oh my, my breasts, that part of my body completely belonged to my baby. When you become a mom you don’t only give your whole self to your child but you give your body, you sacrifice your whole being, what you eat, how you move, your appearance, everything to accommodate this new baby and that goes on for the first few years so yes of course it’s normal to miss our old lives, how could we not?!

I definitely miss the partying, seeing my friends a lot and the powerful feeling of pure freedom and independence but I wouldn’t change having my babies for anything in the world because the love I experience with them doesn’t come close to anything else I’ve ever experienced, it’s a million times better and a million times more worth it. Kids have this way of stealing your heart and owning it and you just kind of like on a leash like okay, I’m taken, bye old me.

I decided to do some research and ask a few moms what they think. I asked fifty two moms if they missed their life before kids and twenty six answered yes and twenty six answered no. Then I asked the same moms, do you make time to do the things you enjoyed before you had kids and to elaborate their answer, twenty two said yes that they schedule these times and that’s the only way to get it done and twenty eight said said no, they have no help, no time and that they already struggle juggling work and kids.

I guess most of us moms just don’t have the support or time to spend quality time with ourselves or friends but we need to know that It’s important to still make time to see your friends and do the things you love. Living not just existing is so important. As a mom we tend to put our kids and family first and just exist and everyone just watches and expects it to be like that and that’s not okay! Remember you are not just a mom, you are a woman too, and of course a goddess and warrior, should I go on?!

You got this mama, it’s okay to miss your old self ♥️ make time for you so that you don’t resent them xx


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