How Do We Teach Our Sons To Respect Woman and all Human Beings
How do we teach our sons not to judge woman and to respect all woman regardless of their choices in life or in this case all human beings, all living beings. Last night my son said something that gave me a mini heart attack, I was teasing my son rapping as I usually do, innocent rhymes of course and in return my son rapped too but in his rhyme he used the word hoe?! My heart literally cracked and I acted normal and said what’s a hoe Zac and he laughed and said heaven on earth. Now first let me tell you about my son, my son is ten years old , yes pick your jaw up from the floor but he is also super innocent and yes every mom says this but I swear my son does not know much. Anyway my heart didn’t break because he might know what a hoe is, my heart broke at the fact that he would refer to a woman or any human being in this manner. The first thing I did was look at myself and thought where did I fail this child to think it’s okay to talk about anyone in this way, and secondly how do I teach him that it’s not okay to judge anyone. My belief is that everyone is on their own journey and getting moulded to become who they are suppose to be so if someone is doing something different or something you don’t believe in they are just beinlded into becoming who they are suppose to be, you might not agree with what they doing but it actually has nothing to do with you and you have no right to judge anyone. They are still on their journey, lessons are not caught they are self taught through experiences. The best thing in life to do ,is to just love and open your mind. I honestly don’t like to judge anyone and I honestly try not to, I really do try to live with a open mind and I believe it serves me well. I struggle to understand why people spend any personal time judging others, it feels pointless and poisonous. Let everyone just be. I’m at a point with my son where his going to be a teenager soon and I feel the need to be honest with him, no more Santa tooth fairy lies, when he asks something, I want to be the one to explain it to him , I definitely don’t want it to be one of his friends. I believe knowledge is power and with that comes responsibility, I also believe it helps you make the right choices in life. As parents I know we like to keep them little for as long as possible but in this world we live in with Internet and everything that’s happening just how long is that possible for. I think it’s best to prepare them. So I grabbed Zac and said you know the word you used yesterday, this is what it actually means and this is why you should not be using it.
Me: “Zac a word you used yesterday really bothered me, be honest with me , do you know what the word hoe means?” Zac: “Heaven on earth.” Me: “Zac where did you hear that?” Zac: “TikTok.” “
Me:”Is that all it means Zac?” Zac:”I think it’s used for gardening too.” Me: “Okay Zac basically remember when dad and I had the sex talk with you?” Zac: (weird face) “Yes?” Me: “Well a hoe is someone who has sex with lots of different partners and mostly refers to a woman by men in a belittling manner.” Zac: “Oh wow I didn’t know that!”(Embarrassed face) Me: “Yes Zac so please don’t use that word my angel as it’s not a nice word to use and also we shouldn’t judge people.” Zac: “Okay mom I won’t use that word again.”
Screeam guys, am I allowed to swear??? Or is this mommy land where no one swears, I thought this conversation was meant to only happen in a few years, my son is growing up way too fast. I think we should speak to our children openly as much as we possibly can because soon they reach a age where everything they hear will come from everyone but you, mostly their friends. It’s a little sad when raising boys as a woman , that they are going to say things like hoe and think it’s okay because that’s what some guy told them it’s okay to say. They came from our bellies, we get to help shape their mind right? Otherwise they were created by God so let’s just pray until we can’t anymore. I love you mamas So how to teach your son to be a gentleman in a disgusting world.
• Open doors for woman.
• Say please and thank you.
• Zero tolerance for fighting with girls, zero.
• Teach them to express their anger through sport or some type of outlet, exercise, yoga or meditation. You should too, remember they learn from your coping methods too.
• Bullying like name calling etc is never okay.
• Show them they are loved by you continuously and accepted, show them forgiveness and understanding. They learn to be by watching you be. Teach them how to love and accept people and themselves and understand instead of judge
• Always ask them how they would feel if they were in that person’s shoe that they are judging, teach them compassion and to be understanding and mindful.
• Honesty is the best policy, you be the one to tell them about life instead of their friends regardless of how awkward or embarrassed you might feel.
You got this mama! You future builder you!